There are days when I feel like I’ve got a split personality. The competing desires that I experience become overwhelming. The choices I make are satisfying for a time, ultimately fading in importance when challenged with some new priority.
Since learning to meditate I’ve become more forgiving of myself. I know that over the long term I’ll get where I’m going and I accept that I’m a general-direction-kinda-guy rather than a track-and-train type. The deviations and meanders I encounter along the way are the fun of the journey.
The fact that I run three blogs across three different topics can feel a little schizophrenic at times. Progress can feel slow and the impact watered down. I also feel like I procrastinate more than I need to but then justify that with the fact I operate the way I do by conscious choice. This is part of learning to be a free lance. These are the tough days.
On a good day, like today, I can appreciate that the work I do across these projects serves a different function in my life and provides me with the creative freedom to write, create and share as I see fit. I feel blessed.
Perhaps a time will come when I will choose to focus on just one thing.
He’ll rekindle all the dreams
It took you a lifetime to destroy
Nick Cave talks about identity, coherence and artistic freedom on The Red Hand Files. He’s a dude with stacks of green paper in his red right hand. Well worth a read.