I’m a dancer and a dreamer. My way of being speaks to the philosophical questions of life, to the higher purpose and meaning of this existence, to the lofty heights of creativity and artistic expression.
Day to day that means I appear to be slack, procrastinating and ineffectual. Such are the metrics of modern life.
I struggle under the weight of those expectations. Even by my own forgiving standards, I flounder on the altar of accomplishment. I’m lost to the competing priorities of multitasking. I hone in on a task for a few days or weeks only to waiver when something new catches my attention.
I’ve achieved much in terms of experience but there’s always something more, an elusive completeness, a searching desire to create and for it to matter.
I’m writing a book about my bike journey across Eurasia. It’s big and scary and slow. I’ve thrown it out and started over many times. What am I really saying? What is the point? Who cares?
I’m getting along with it quite well now but it’s a ways off being finished. I’m doubling down on the copy editing process and figuring out how best to end the story.
It’s been such a long while now since I began that the narrative no longer fits the purpose. The book I intended was a travelogue about a life affirming journey. The story I’ve written reads more like a Matthew McConaughey mid noughties rom com.
I’m only now with the benefit of hindsight beginning to see why and how that happened. It’s a insightful lesson about the boy who went on a bike ride and the man that came home.
I guess I’ll carry on dancing and dreaming and I’ll get this thing done in my own sweet time. Wish me luck!
In the meantime, I’m a couple months away from completing this 365 challenge. As the new year approaches I’ll begin to review this body of work to seek out the trends and figure out the next steps.